just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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