so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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