super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
