i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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