Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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