well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is the high leading the old right now
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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