i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
