I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
