First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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