Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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