one two three fourrrrnication!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
