You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
