When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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