Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
