i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she told me i tasted like america
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
