So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
