apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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