i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize