dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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