Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
