I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
