I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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