It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I checked into jail on foursquare
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
