i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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