There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
