There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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