Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
