Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
