Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
