it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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