so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
