i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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