drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
smell my finger.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
