I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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