3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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