It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
