so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
