Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
