Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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