woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
