I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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