i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
In America we eat man semen.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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