I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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