you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
