can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
