tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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