I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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