...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
