Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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