After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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