Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
