Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize