He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
