Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Green mimosas i think yes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
