Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
