Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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