We're facebook friends in real life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
