Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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