I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
