ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
