Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
