one two three fourrrrnication!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
