Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
