I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize